Monday, 25 May 2009
Beside my shoes
I was fed up tonight and didn't want to go training. It had been a lovely day and as it was a bank holiday it all had the feeling of a Sunday evening. I don't train on a Sunday evening. and I was tired. But I hauled my ass onto my bicycle and by the time I'd got to the river I was feeling much better.
Still fed up though. Very curious feeling of indifference but I managed to get there, change, help out with samu and then into the lesson. I didn't have that usual corporeal heaviness when I'm having trouble concentrating. My body was ok despite my mental mist and I eased through the warm-ups and was lucid during kihon but there was a strange dream-like sensation. The French have a saying which sums up how I felt: "à côté de ses pompes" (to be beside one's shoes). This strange out of body experience: as if I were standing next to myself. Not quite right.
All this despite good tuition, smiles and help from colleagues and at the end a feeling of having learnt something (potentially profound).
I still couldn't shake that feeling of being à côté de mes pompes, but I'm glad I went.