Thursday, 18 June 2009
I experienced a strange, amusing and startling thing the other day as I pulled myself from sleep through into the wakefulness of day.
I knew it was early. I was conscious but lay there without thought on the edge of sleep, feeling completely calm. As there were no thoughts I simply enjoyed this state of 'being' and the sensation of soft and slow purring throughout my body. As my consciousness began to take over, though, I began to realise where I was and what the day ahead had in store for me. As soon as these thoughts entered my mind a sharp pang of regret kicked in as I knew that this state would now change. The calm state was broken. It was a real process that I followed from paisible relaxation, thoughts entering about the day (stressful agenda ahead) then panic that my calm will be soon shattered...a crashing of my day's worries into my head. The fact that I sensed and was aware of this process startled me almost as much as feeling the whole tempo of my body sharply change. I encountered a wave of (what I think was) adrenaline squirt through me then a sudden rise of heart rate (almost instant). This made sure I was well and truly awake! Peace was broken and I was now focusing on the day to come instead of my warm, cosy, duvet moment.